I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
