I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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