My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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