the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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