and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Screwed.edu
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
