brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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