she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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