is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
