i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
