he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize