He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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