i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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