Whoa Z and x make the same sound
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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