You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I smell stomach acid.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
