i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
