I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
