But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
