So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
