Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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