im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need to calm my uterus...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize