sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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