we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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