how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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