Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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