I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
