I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
