I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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