the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
two words...techno handjob
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
