I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
