Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
