there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
