Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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