guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just want to make out with him forever
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
