I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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