I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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