When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
