Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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