i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
