Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
