who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
