I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
