whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
