omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize