With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
