Whoa Z and x make the same sound
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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