I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
