He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize