Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
