um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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