he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
