Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
