I cockslap morals
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize