D3 body, D1 cock
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
