i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
