mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
one two three fourrrrnication!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize