I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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