In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
