if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
