I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I cockslap morals
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize