playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
