i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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