I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
