So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I fill condoms, not promises.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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