someone owes me an orgasm
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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