I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
