omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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