Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
