I hope mine doesn't look like that
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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