Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Found the puke drawer
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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