Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
