that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
my poor anus
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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