Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
