So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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