Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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